Sunday 3 December 2017

Dash for a slash

OK, time for another select list of sinful synonyms. This time, featuring an activity dear to the heart of anyone who has had a prostatectomy. To make it more interesting, you can guess what the activity is. A couple of clues to keep you going:

  • Urologists primly refer to it as "voiding" (as you will see, not for any want of alternatives); and
  • It has been alluded to in several blog posts, especially those featuring incontinence pads.  
OK, enough preamble! Most of these are rhyming slang. Here they are:

  1. Arthur Bliss (one for the musical cognoscenti);
  2. bangers and mash; 
  3. bubble and squeak;
  4. Christopher Lee;
  5. cousin Sis;
  6. dingo's breakfast, AKA swaggie's breakfast (in Partridge's succinct gloss, "an act of urination and a good look around");
  7. fiddlers three;
  8. goodnight kiss;
  9. lemon tea;
  10. Lilian Gish;
  11. Mark Ramprakash (one for the cricket fans);
  12. mimi (yes, lower case "m": according to Partridge, "from the Maori"); 
  13. peter heater (act of urination in a wetsuit).
Honourable mention must also be made for

  • knock the dew off the lily; and
  • couldn't organise a urine sample in a golden shower (according to Partridge, "used of an inefficient person or organisation").
Just to prove that too much is never enough, I love the joke from Garrison Keilor about the young lady from the midwest being shown around a historic home. She enquired about the feature on top of the antique four-poster bed. Guide: "That, madam, is a canopy". Young lady: "Oh, at home we keep those underneath the bed". 

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